What Selective Mutism Is — and Isn’t

Selective mutism is often misunderstood- even by caring parents and educators. It’s not a phase or a behavior problem. It’s an anxiety disorder that causes children to feel frozen and unable to speak in certain settings, even when they want to.

Children with selective mutism may talk freely at home but go completely silent at school, social events or around certain people. This silence isn’t defiance- it’s fear. Their body’s nervous system is signaling danger, and speech becomes physically blocked.

What Selective Mutism Isn’t:

• ❌ A child being rude or disrespectful

• ❌ Shyness that will be “outgrown”

• ❌ A result of poor parenting or lack of discipline

• ❌ Manipulative or attention-seeking behavior

• ❌ A choice not to speak

What Selective Mutism Is:

• ✅ A physical inability due to anxiety that limits speech in certain environments despite wanting to

• ✅ A consistent pattern- children speak comfortably in some settings and not in others

• ✅ A condition that requires understanding, patience and gradual exposures

• ✅ Something that can improve with the right support, including professional guidance and home strategies

Children with selective mutism are not choosing silence; they’re doing their best to feel safe in situations that feel overwhelming. The path forward begins with empathy- creating calm, pressure-free opportunities where a child’s voice can grow and children can begin to feel comfortable being uncomfortable.

At Courage to Speak Coaching, we believe every child deserves the chance to be heard- in their own time, in their own way. For more information, visit www.couragetospeakcoaching.com